


And yet, here we are

by paper_back_writer



Series: Not Looking 'Verse [11]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, Family Issues, Funeral, Jared/Jensen/Stephen fantasy, M/M, Sexual Fantasy, Werewolf Mates, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 22:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14903706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paper_back_writer/pseuds/paper_back_writer
Summary: Jared and Jensen wake up, mated...and all they know about each other are their first names.- It's a long road back to the way things were. But they get there in the end.





	And yet, here we are

Things didn’t get better over night. Indeed, there were times when Jared thought that they might never recover.

But they did. Slowly.

They stayed with Kim and Jim that first night. Jensen reluctantly let Jared put an arm around him as they fell asleep in the guest bed and Jared woke up alone, but at least they were together.

Jared was dreading returning to the house but Jim had called in a few favors and by the time the were back, the debris had been cleared from the nursery and the window had been fixed. Jensen refused to go in the room again, even after the dry wall had been replaced and everything was painted plain white.

Isaac was the glue that held them together for a while. It almost seemed as if the more that they kept reassuring him that they were okay, the more they started to believe it themselves.

Jensen was quiet and withdrawn for a long time. Kim had immediately set them up with a therapist, and although Jared was reluctant to talk to a stranger about anything to do with his relationship with Jensen, he had to admit that it helped. It didn’t stop the feeling in his gut, as if part of him was being ripped out every time he caught the sadness in Jensen’s scent or came home to see his eyes red from crying. But gradually Jensen started to smile again.

The casual touches came back; the peck on the lips as Jared left for work or the hand skimming his shoulders as Jensen passed by. The first time Jensen laughed out loud, it took them both by surprise and although Jared had beamed at his mate, Jensen had looked horrified and then guilty. But after the first time it seemed to happen more and more.

The one thing that didn’t change was sex. They both wanted it, wanted the closeness that it gave them before. But they couldn’t face it. Talking about it in their therapy sessions was the worse kind of hell for Jared. He’d promised Jensen that he would be totally honest but it cost his pride and his wolf dearly. It was bad enough to see Jensen crying and humiliated, wrenching his heart out as he tried to explain all the bad thoughts and feelings he was having about himself and his body. But then Jared would have to confess that he was struggling to hold back when his wolf just wanted to claim Jensen, like it thought somehow knotting Jensen would make everything better. Jared was disgusted with himself for simply thinking it but having to speak the words aloud made him wonder how Jensen could even look at him let alone share a bed with him.

Over all, Jared was trying to be pragmatic—they both were. Except, down deep, Jared still thought there might be a chance to have a family whereas Jensen had given up all hope. And so it went on.

And it might have gone on that way for a some time if Jared hadn’t walked in the front door about three months later to find Jensen sat at the kitchen table, staring at the phone in his hands.

“Everything okay?”

Jensen blinked twice then shook his head. “Yeah. I think so.”

“You think so?” Jared pulled out a chair and sat down, not taking his eyes from Jensen face.

Jensen frowned. “Yeah.” He looked up, slightly dazed. “My dad died. Heart attack.”

“Shit.” Jared reached out and covered Jensen’s hands with his own. “I’m sorry.”

Jensen didn’t really reply, just hmmed like he was still trying to process everything. After a minute, he sighed before saying, “Colin’s on his way home to help mom with the funeral arrangements.”

“Do you…?” Jared wasn’t quite sure how Jensen was going to react, especially with all the other emotional upheaval he’d been going through. “Do you want to go too?”

Jensen looked perplexed. “I don’t—I don’t know. I mean, he was my dad but after everything…” He lifted his hand and rubbed his fingers hard across his brow. “Would it be weird? If we went to the funeral?”

Jared leaned across the table and kissed him briefly on the lips. “I think if you need to go, we should go.”

Which was how he found himself driving back to the small town outside Redding a week later and parking up outside the house that Jensen grew up in.

It was dead quiet when Jared turned the engine off. Jensen made no move to even look up from his lap, let alone get out of the car.

Jared glanced over to the house and the small number of people dressed in black that were milling in and out the front door, carrying platters and chairs. He guessed that they were preparing for the wake before they set off for the service.

“We should go in,” he said softly.

Jensen’s head came up slowly and he looked towards the house. “Shit,” he muttered, “That’s Aunt Rose. She hated me even before they kicked me out.” He turned back to look at Jared, biting at his lip. “Would you be mad if I said I’ve changed my mind?”

Jared smiled gently and took his hand. “Get out of the car, Omega.”

Jensen took a deep breath and then blew it out hard as he opened the car door.

They walked together up the drive, Jared slightly behind keeping his hand on Jensen’s lower back. There could have been no doubt to who he was to Jensen and the looks they were getting confirmed the small town mentality that he’d been expecting.

Colin appeared in the doorway, looking tired but relieved to see his brother. There were mutterings when he fell into Jensen’s arms and the brothers hugged. And then audible gasps when Colin turned to Jared and they did just the same.

Colin did an excellent job of tuning all of that out. “How was the drive?”

Jensen shrugged. “Okay, I guess. How’s mom doing?”

Colin shrugged back in a similar manner. “Okay, I guess. The car will be here any minute. You wanna come in or…”

The implication was clear, and their timing lousy as the long black limousine in question pulled into the street.

Jensen shook his head. “Maybe we should just see her after.”

“You don’t want to ride with us?” Colin asked as he placed a hand on Jensen’s arm. “Family should ride together.”

Jensen sent him a half smile and pulled him close for a second. “I don’t think he would have wanted that.” He pushed his brother to arms length, and nodded at him reassuringly. “We’ll see you at the church, okay?”

Colin nodded, and then turned to a voice calling him from the house. “Later then,” he said before nodding to Jared and disappearing.

The service was short, thankfully. There was only so long Jared could bite his tongue at the frowns and tsks when Jensen came in, or the way that the reverend didn’t include Jensen in the list of family members mentioned, or the way he talked about Jensen’s father being a good man and a good Christian when he and Jensen were relegated to the back of the church like strangers.

But he kept his arm around Jensen’s shoulders, holding the order of service for him, and handed him tissues from the wad he’d shoved into his jacket pocket surreptitiously before they left.

Things weren’t any different when they got back to the house. Jensen didn’t seem to want to talk to anybody other than Colin and his girlfriend and no-one wanted to talk to them, so the two wolves stood in a corner by themselves, nursing glasses of tart lemonade and eating day old potato salad. Jensen seemed okay with it, regaling Jared with gossip about the people whispering about them across the room, and telling stories about the house and times when he was happy there.

Jensen let himself be dragged away by Colin at one point, reluctant to leave Jared’s side at first, until Jared gave him a shove. Jared straightened himself up and decided to wander. Mostly everyone was crammed into the lounge, spilling out into the garden, so the rest of the house was thankfully fairly quiet.

He found himself on the stairs, running his eyes over the array of photographs framed on the wall. They were primarily of Colin, from a babe in arms to one that he knew Jensen had taken back in the summer in their own backyard after a cook out. His arm was slung around Gemma’s shoulders as she lounged against his side. They were laughing and Jared could practically still hear the happy sounds that had filled their garden that afternoon.  He was a little taken aback that in amongst the array, he found a few pictures of Jensen too as a fat baby with a bucket and spade, and a skinny teenager with shaved head. He huffed out a laugh when he spotted one of the Omega with his cheeks stuffed with curly fries, happy to know that he still did the same thing after a few beers if he wanted to annoy Jared for kicks.

A sound on the stairs yanked him from his reverie and he looked up to see Jensen’s mother standing there.

She looked uncomfortable, red-eyed and exhausted, her small hand clutching the handkerchief that hadn’t left her  all day. Jared stepped back down into the hall to let her pass without a word but when she came down, she stopped short, remaining on the step that left her at eye level with the Alpha.

Jared cleared his throat. “I’m very sorry for your loss, Mrs Ford.”

Her mouth worked some as she pressed her lips together forming a tight white line across her face. “Colin says you’re a teacher,” she said finally.

“Yes. High school.”

“And that you’re allowing Jensen to go to school?”

Jared huffed out a laugh and smiled. “I don’t _allow_ Jensen to do anything. He wanted to go and I support him in that. I think nursing will suit him.”

“But no children.”

Jared’s fists clenched at his side and he had to fight to keep his tone even. He knew damn well that she knew all this. She and Jensen rarely talked on the phone but they did talk and he knew Colin kept her updated. “No. Not yet. One day I think we’d love to have a family. But we can wait.” He took a breath. “I think Jensen would like to adopt. Given his history.”

Her hard expression wavered at that. “I’m sure you would make a wolf child a lovely home.”

“Or human.” Jared wasn’t really trying to make a point but from the way shame briefly touched her eyes, he got his meaning across when he added, “We’d love them regardless.”

She nodded and took one step down before pausing and looking back up at him. “I’m—I’m glad he has you. We never wanted any harm to come to him. But I’m glad he has someone that makes him happy.”

She started to leave and despite his better judgement, Jared said, “I don’t approve of how you’ve treated him. It’s beyond my understanding how you could—but as far as Jensen is concerned, you’re still his mother. Which means you’re always welcome in our home, if you ever want to come to visit. I think Jensen would like that and I know Colin would too.”

As much as he meant the offer to be genuine, it was a little gratifying to see the woman shocked into silence. She only nodded curtly before hurrying off to find someone she’d rather be talking to.

“Ouch. How much did that hurt to say?”

Jared looked up to see Jensen, flanked by Colin, at the top of the stairs. Jared huffed out a laugh that settled into a smirk as Jensen came down towards him but it was Colin that replied, “Not as much as it hurt her to hear it.”

Jared shrugged. “Maybe. Did I do wrong?”

Jensen shook his head. “No, Alpha. You did good.” He held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

Colin walked them out, pausing at the front door to say, “See you at the diner for breakfast, I guess.”

Jensen smiled. “Of course. Wouldn’t want to subject you to Aunt Rose’s pancakes.” The two brothers both made the same disgusted face before Jared dragged his mate back to the car.

They had opted to stay overnight in a motel just off the freeway, as the place Jared and Chad had stayed in on their previous visit had shutdown. It seemed nice enough, relatively quiet and clean which is as much as they needed.

Jensen was a little too quiet though as they took turns in the small shower and changed into something more comfortable while they waited for their pizza to be delivered. Jared didn’t want to push it though. So they watched reality TV on the fuzzy TV and ate a decent thin crust washed down with warm beer on a slightly lumpy mattress, and Jared kept his mouth shut. At least, until Jensen came back from brushing his teeth.

“You okay?” Jared asked gently as he pulled off his teeshirt. Jensen only answered with a nod so he added, “You regret coming?”

Jensen shook his head and pulled back the covers. “No. It actually went better than I thought it would.”

Jared frowned. “So do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” One of the things that they had promised themselves was to be more open and work on their communication. Even though Jared thought he sounded like a robot asking Jensen questions like that.

Jensen seemed to think about it as he slipped into bed, but waited until Jared had joined him with his head next to him on the pillow before he answered, “No.”

“No?”

Jensen smiled and it was a little uncertain. “No. But I—I want—”

Jared ran his finger along Jensen’s jawline. “You want?”

“You,” Jensen breathed out. “I want you. To make love to me. Not your knot,” he added hastily, “I don’t think I’m ready for—I just want you. Inside me.”

“I can do that,” Jared whispered, leaning over to kiss Jensen on the lips. “I can do that.”

They went slow, achingly so that night. So slow it hurt.

Jensen cried when he finally came but it sounded like relief rather than sadness. Then he covered Jared in kisses and gentle words of encouragement until Jared came too. They held each other close for the rest of the night and then did the same again when they woke in the morning.

Afterwards, when they’d returned home, they found themselves less afraid to be physical, like they had been before Jensen’s diagnosis. Their therapist was pleased, although they could tell she would have liked them to have gone further. Isaac was less so, but Jared bought him a pair of ear-defenders that made him laugh. And Jared really felt like they were healing.

 

About four months later, Jared came home from work, shaking the rain from his coat before hanging it up.

It took him more than a minute to find his mate, wandering from room to room.

Jensen had made a nest of textbooks and papers on their bed when Jared finally interrupted him. Jared stood in the doorway for a minute, leaning on the door jamb with his arms folded across his chest and a soft smile on his face. Jensen’s hair was standing up like he’d been running his fingers through it and he was chewing on the end of the pencil that was dangling from his mouth. He was frowning at the page in front of him as he ran the highlighter over it and Jared was pretty sure he could have stood there for the rest of the night before Jensen noticed him.

Jared cleared his throat dramatically before saying, “It’s nearly seven. Do you want to order out?”

The reply took so long to come that Jared was gearing up to repeat himself, when Jensen mumbled, “There’s still some chili left. We could have that?” without so much as a cursory glance up at his mate.

Jared huffed out a laugh as stalked to the bed, drawing the book away from Jensen’s and ignoring his whine of protest and the accompanying grabby hands. “We ate that yesterday. I could rustle up some mac and cheese?”

Jensen grimaced. “I’d rather you didn’t. No offense to mac and cheese.”

“Are you implying I can’t cook?”

Jensen’s expression was the model of sympathy. “ _Can’t_ and probably _shouldn’t_. Like…not ever again.”

Jared sighed. “Is this about the chicken risotto?”

He shouldn’t have even bothered finishing the sentence as Jensen was already nodding. “Yes. Yes, it is.” He laughed when Jared put on his most downtrodden expression, and reached out again for the book Jared had stolen. “Let me just finish this module and I’ll make us something.”

Jared relented, and as he handed back the book asked casually, “Hey, I got an email from an old college buddy today. He’s going to be in town next week. Is it okay to ask him over to dinner?”

Jensen shrugged. “Sure. As long as you don’t spend all night talking about baseball.”

“Yeah, he was never really a jock so you don’t have to worry about that.”

Jensen held out his hand and Jared took it. “You know you don’t have to ask my permission, Alpha.”

Jared huffed out a laugh. “Maybe I want to. This is your house too, y’know.”

Jensen hmmed and waved him away. “Okay then, let me finish up. The sooner I do this the sooner we can eat.”

“I’ll try not to gnaw the furniture while I’m waiting.”

 

Opening the front door and seeing Stephen there brought back a welcome flood of nostalgia and an unwelcome realization of just how long it had been since they were both pretty much kids together. Stephen laughed almost immediately and drew Jared into a bone-crushing hug.

“Oh man. When did you get so old?”

Jared laughed and clapped him on the back. “Speak for yourself, Methuselah. Come on in.”

Stephen looked good. Still handsome with a few more lines around his eyes but not in a way that did anything but flatter him. He was still looking fit, much like Jared with the same Alpha physique, dressed in light jeans and a shirt that fitted in all the right places.

Jared might have felt more guilty about appreciating the way his friend looked if Jensen’s jaw hadn’t practically hit the floor when he’d come out of the kitchen. In fact, Jared had to smirk at the way Jensen seemed to have to compose himself a little before he walked up smiling, with his hand outstretched. “You must be Stephen.”

It was gratifying in every way that Stephen seemed a little taken with Jensen too, given the look on his face and the way he put his hand in Jensen’s without so much as a glance at Jared for permission. “And you must be Jensen. Jared’s told me a lot about you.”

Jensen smiled. “Good. He seems to omitted a few things about you though. Like you being an Alpha.” His head pointedly turned to Jared who stood to the side with his hands in his pockets.

Jared shrugged. “Where would be the fun in that? This way you get to find out all the good stuff yourself.”

 

It was a fun evening. Jensen cooked so there was plenty of good food which both Steven and Jared appreciated and Jensen didn’t seem to hate the two Alphas both saying so repeatedly. Stephen was as much fun as he’d been in college, although now he was in law enforcement he had a few more interesting stories to tell.

Jensen seemed rapt by everything Stephen had to say and, although he stayed glued to Jared’s side all evening, he barely glanced at him, saving all his attention for Stephen.

When the night ended, Stephen hugged Jensen goodbye in a completely friendly manner before drawing Jared into an embrace that lasted a little too long as he whispered, “I’m jealous,” into Jared’s ear.

Jared chuckled and whispered back, “Of him or me?”

“Both.” Stephen laughed, as he waved goodbye.

As soon as the door closed, Jensen wheeled around, his expression half outrage, half-amusement, and he practically laughed out, “Oh my god! That was him, wasn’t it?”

Jared smirked and shrugged and walked back into the house. “I’ve no idea what you mean.” He did, but it seemed like it would be a lot more fun for Jensen to have to explain himself.

“Old friend, my ass. Old _fuckbuddy_ more like it. I know you said you experimented in college but…”

He seemed pretty amused but Jared didn’t want to risk anything but being insensitive. He stopped just before they entered the kitchen and touched Jensen gently on the arm. “I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. Should I have told him not to come?”

Jensen looked incredulous and folded his arms across his chest. “I was going to say you have damn good taste and high five you actually. If anything, you should have told him to stay the night!”

Jensen laughed and Jared did too but the sound died too quickly.

“Sorry,” Jensen said, frowning with embarrassment as he started to busy himself with the dishes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

Jared watched him for a moment, before sinking into one of the chairs at the small table. “Didn’t you? I wouldn’t have minded if you did. Not that I would allow it for a second but…” He licked his lips and was pleased to see Jensen’s movements slowly grind to a halt. “I liked the way he looked at you. And the way you looked at him. I don’t want to share you but…”

He didn’t really know where he was going with it, not until Jensen turned and leaned back against the kitchen counter, folding his arms across his chest and his feet at the ankle.

“I suppose,” Jensen said, regarding the floor, “I suppose, you know how each of us feel against you. Naked. The heat of our skin. What we taste like.” His eyes flicked up at Jared, peering through his dark lashes. And Jared’s cock twitched.

He nodded. “I suppose so,” he said casually but the rasp in his voice gave away how much he was affected by the thought.

Jensen nodded and unfolded his arms, running his hands out along the counter at his sides. “So. What’s he packing? Do you think like I would like it as much as his ass?” His eyes were as defiant as his question.

Jared huffed out a laugh at the challenge, and spread his legs a little wider. “It’s nice, as I remember. Maybe not as thick as me but heavy. A little longer.”

Jensen looked appreciative, like maybe they were discussing groceries or what film they were going to watch that night, but it was clear he was enjoying the game as much as Jared. “And what would you have him do with that? Would you let him fuck my ass? Or only allow him to use my mouth?”

Jared felt like the air had punched out of him and he had to quickly tear open the button fly on his jeans before the fabric cut his dick off. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten so hard so fast. “Your mouth,” he said, although he sounded wrecked already. “That way I could watch you both while I fucked you from behind. You both look so beautiful when you come apart.”

A sound came from Jensen’s throat, a mewl that had Jared wanting, and without thinking he pushed his jeans and underwear down, pulled his cock out and started stroking.

Jensen took a step forward and Jared could see that not only was he hard, but he was shaking as he unzipped his pants. “Would you want me to suck him or have him fuck my throat? Would you want him to come in me, Jay, so you could see me swallow?”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

It took precisely zero seconds for Jared to reach out and grab Jensen roughly, drag his pants down to his ankles, bend him over the kitchen table and thrust up inside him.

Jensen all but screamed as Jared held him down and fucked him hard. It was everything they hadn’t been doing for such a long time. There was nothing slow or sensual about it. It was frantic and desperate, the room filling up with cries of enjoyment. Until Jared’s knot started to swell.

Jared fought to hold back, surprised to see and feel it after all that time. It went against all his instincts to slow down and pull out but he had almost managed it when Jensen reached around and grabbed at him desperately.

“Do it.”

Jared shook his head even though Jensen couldn’t see him. “No. No, my—my knot—”

“I want it,” Jensen choked out. “For fuck’s sake, Jared, knot me, please. Please, Alpha, let me feel it.”

He did, punching forward so hard, Jensen’s feet lifted off the ground and he came, spattering onto the table top beneath him with a shout.

Even then Jensen ground his hips back against Jared, pushing his knot in further as it swole and Jared came. Without thinking, Jared pitched forward, yanked Jensen’s collar away from his neck, ripping it, and sank his teeth into Jensen shoulder. As he bit down, Jensen cried out and came again before becoming weightless in Jared’s arms.

 

“You owe me a new shirt.”

Jared huffed a laugh into the back of Jensen’s head. They were spooned together, laying down on the kitchen floor with the cutlery that Jared had knocked off the table when he threw Jensen onto it. “We’re going to owe Isaac a whole lot more if he comes home early.” Jared was glad Isaac was out for the weekend. At least they’d have a chance to air the place out before he got home.

Jensen was quiet for a while, holding Jared’s hands tight at his chest. He murmured something Jared didn’t quite catch and when Jared told him so, he seemed to take a breath before saying more surely, “I’ve missed this. Missed you.”

Jared kissed him again and held him tighter. “I’ve been right here.”

“Yeah, but you haven’t been here—” he clenched around Jared's knot making him gasp “—for too long.” 

“I’ve missed it too but there was no schedule, Jen. I always said you should take your time.”

Jensen hmmed, thoughtfully. “I know, I just—it just felt for a while that maybe you didn’t want me like this anymore.”

“What? Lying on the cold kitchen floor with lasagna in my hair? That’s very specific, babe.”

Jensen laughed and it made Jared happy in all kinds of ways. “So, you’re keeping me then?” It was said in jest but Jensen couldn’t hide the insecurity underneath it.

Jared buried his face in Jensen’s neck and breathed deep, smelling Jensen and mate and home, just as he had that first night. “Mate. Mine,” he said.

“Mate mine,” Jensen repeated quietly to himself. “Okay, then. Okay.”

  
  
  


Epilogue 

 

Isaac and Aaron date until college. They break up over something stupid and date other people for a few years but then meet up again coincidentally in a bar one night when they’re both currently single. A ‘one-night stand for old times sake’ ends up with happy marriage and two kids.

Jim and Kim live happily ever after and continue to be the best substitute parents ever.

Colin and Gemma stay together. It’s not easy for them, especially for Gemma when Colin’s mom comes to live with them before she dies but they make do and end up pretty contented together. Just them and three dogs.

 

Jensen and Jared never get to have a threesome with Stephen but it remains one of their most enduring fantasies. They add more over time and get stronger and stronger for it.

After a couple of years, they start looking into adoption and end up bringing home a little girl who’s about three. They fall in love with her as soon as they meet her. Jared quits his job to be a stay-at-home-dad with her and coaches Little League, of which she turns out to be a natural.

About a month after the final lot of adoption paperwork goes through, Jensen finds out he’s pregnant. No one is more shocked than the fertility doctor they’d been seeing. After some complications, Jensen has a healthy baby boy five months later. They don’t name him Chad.

 

Chad is a jerk forever. Even after he marries the lawyer who worked on Jensen and Jared’s adoption. He names their first kid after Jared’s dad, just for spite.

**Author's Note:**

> That's it.  
> I'm done.  
> 's a little rushed but...  
> No more.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you, guys, for sticking with me. It's been a schlep but we did it :) I hope you enjoyed this. If you want to read more werewolf family melodrama from me, I have some books and whatnot out in the real world, and I may even write some more fanfic if I can find the time.  
> I've missed it.  
> Anyhoo. I love your faces ♥ You're all my favorites. AJ xxx
> 
> Leave a kudos if you read.  
> Leave a comment if you liked it.
> 
> This is unbeta'd so if you spot any errors, let me know in the comments and I'll tweak it ♥
> 
> Keep the fandom works in fandom, please.


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